Rainy Wednesday :(
It might have been dreary outside, but today my classes were shining bright with incredible examples of tone in personal narratives. Wow! You are getting there! Thanks for sharing your exemplars - it is a community service when you share.
After sharing, we broke out our checklists for self-assessment. It's getting to be that time when students assess where they stand as writers. We are beginning with just looking at elaboration and craft. After reviewing the important words in the checklist, we read " Look Up and Watch the Show" to find elaboration and craft in the story. It is bursting with examples of these writing skills!
Notice our bulletin board? Strong writing from YOU showing writing examples before and after revisions. Keep them coming!
H/W: Look at your most powerful narrative that you have already written. Find examples of elaboration and craft. Highlight and label them. Can't find any? Then, you need to go into your story and find places where you can add elaboration and craft. Write them on a piece of paper, and then tape it (using just one strip of tape) over the part you revised. Then, I would like everyone to fill out their checklist for elaboration and craft.
If you left you checklist at school, look under "Links" (on the right side of the blog), and you can view it. Make sure you click on your correct class period. If you need to see the story again for ideas, it is pasted below.
I am excited to see what you produce for elaboration and craft! See you tomorrow!
Student Writing Exemplar: “Look Up and Watch the Show”
I walked up the stairs of the subway. We were almost there! I had been waiting to see this
for my whole life!
Five years before this I had been asking,
“Mom, can I go to the fireworks?”
My mom always replied, “No honey, maybe next year.”
“Dad, can I go to the fireworks, all my friends have.”
“You are too young and it is too late.” This went on for the next five years.
Finally I asked and they said, “YES.” I jumped up and down and kissed and hugged them
eight times. They said I was now old enough. I couldn’t wait to tell my friends.
And here we are an hour early, staring eagerly at the starlit sky. I looked at the barges straight
ahead of me. They were ready to fire! I imagined streams of color floating out of them in
every direction. Like ten hoses with ten different colors of water.
For the next hour I asked my parents at least 100 times, “When is it starting?” My parents
were giving me dirty looks. They were annoyed, but I really couldn’t help myself.
Then BOOM crackle, crackle, BOOM, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and white, all
seemed to be falling on me screaming, “Hi nice to meet you.” They were saying to most of
the other people, “I remember you from last year.”
I glanced straight ahead of me and bats were flying away from all the commotion, and noise.
It was eerie and exciting.
Amazing shapes, colors, and noises were bursting out of the four barges. Large booms from
previous fireworks echoed from one building to another behind us.
Now the time I had been waiting for, to see the grand finale. Smiley faces and 100’s of
shooting stars shot high in the sky with large booms. Everyone was oohing and aahing. But I
knew I oohed and aahed the loudest. I was sure I was more excited than anyone else.
It was now over. Silence rang in my ears and a heavy smoke lingered in the sky. The smoke
carried away with it all my dreams of this, because now I had seen and I experienced my first
ever, up close showing of the fireworks.
I hope my old dreams of seeing the fireworks for the first time is carried over to someone. And
just like me they can have this great first time experience and tell their friends all about it.
Now I have done it. I can tell myself I will never forget the first time I ever saw the fireworks.
Now I understand what people mean when they say how magical the fireworks are.
