Rainy Wednesday :(

It might have been dreary outside, but today my classes were shining bright with incredible examples of tone in personal narratives. Wow! You are getting there! Thanks for sharing your exemplars - it is a community service when you share.

After sharing, we broke out our  checklists for self-assessment. It's getting to be that time when students assess where they stand as writers. We are beginning with just looking at elaboration and craft. After reviewing the important words in the checklist, we read " Look Up and Watch the Show" to find elaboration and craft in the story. It is bursting with examples of these writing skills!

Notice our bulletin board? Strong writing from YOU showing writing examples before and after revisions. Keep them coming!

H/W: Look at your most powerful narrative that you have already written. Find examples of elaboration and craft. Highlight and label them. Can't find any? Then, you need to go into your story and find places where you can add elaboration and craft. Write them on a piece of paper, and then tape it (using just one strip of tape) over the part you revised. Then, I would like everyone to fill out their checklist for elaboration and craft.

If you left you checklist at school, look under "Links" (on the right side of the blog), and you can view it. Make sure you click on your correct class period. If you need to see the story again for ideas, it is pasted below.

I am excited to see what you produce for elaboration and craft! See you tomorrow!

Student Writing Exemplar: “Look Up and Watch the Show”

I walked up the stairs of the subway. We were almost there! I had been waiting to see this
for my whole life!
Five years before this I had been asking,
“Mom, can I go to the fireworks?”
My mom always replied, “No honey, maybe next year.”
“Dad, can I go to the fireworks, all my friends have.”
“You are too young and it is too late.” This went on for the next five years.
Finally I asked and they said, “YES.” I jumped up and down and kissed and hugged them
eight times. They said I was now old enough. I couldn’t wait to tell my friends.
And here we are an hour early, staring eagerly at the starlit sky. I looked at the barges straight
ahead of me. They were ready to fire! I imagined streams of color floating out of them in
every direction. Like ten hoses with ten different colors of water.
For the next hour I asked my parents at least 100 times, “When is it starting?” My parents
were giving me dirty looks. They were annoyed, but I really couldn’t help myself.
Then BOOM crackle, crackle, BOOM, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and white, all
seemed to be falling on me screaming, “Hi nice to meet you.” They were saying to most of
the other people, “I remember you from last year.”
I glanced straight ahead of me and bats were flying away from all the commotion, and noise.
It was eerie and exciting.
Amazing shapes, colors, and noises were bursting out of the four barges. Large booms from
previous fireworks echoed from one building to another behind us.
Now the time I had been waiting for, to see the grand finale. Smiley faces and 100’s of
shooting stars shot high in the sky with large booms. Everyone was oohing and aahing. But I
knew I oohed and aahed the loudest. I was sure I was more excited than anyone else.
It was now over. Silence rang in my ears and a heavy smoke lingered in the sky. The smoke
carried away with it all my dreams of this, because now I had seen and I experienced my first
ever, up close showing of the fireworks.
I hope my old dreams of seeing the fireworks for the first time is carried over to someone. And
just like me they can have this great first time experience and tell their friends all about it.
Now I have done it. I can tell myself I will never forget the first time I ever saw the fireworks.
Now I understand what people mean when they say how magical the fireworks are.

Hello!

Today we reviewed what we learned about "tone" on Friday through our mentor text, "Everything Will Be Okay." We discussed tone and the ways that the author showed tone in the story...how did we learn so much about so many characters? How did the author treat the characters? How can I write like that? As you write tonight, think about the list we generated about ways to write with tone, and also be looking at your "How to Write Powerful Narratives" chart. Take the time to do this, ok? Remember to SHOW not TELL! An example we used today: The wind was knocked out of me. SHOW what that is, what it feels like, what that looks like. Perspective slipped because the narrator didn't actually know the wind was knocked out of him at that time, he only knew what he was feeling at the moment.

My goal is to have you thinking "I could write about that" as you wander in your everyday life. Notice those memorable moments and put them on your "First Time - Last Time" chart.

H/W: Write your most powerful memorable moment using tone. Follow the goal you wrote at the top of your paper. As always, we are striving to be comfortable writing two pages. It should be easier for you at this point. Here are the ideas of how author James Howe wrote about the kitty using tone:

• in the moment
• tension
• details
• dialogue
• flashbacks
• foreshadowing
• dreams
• sentence structure
• narrator writing what they know using what he sees, hears, smells, thinks, feels
• actions
• staying in perspective

See you tomorrow, Writers!

Good afternoon!

I was out for the day at a language arts meeting, and my hope is that I will be able to stamp away on every student's archer card tomorrow! Thank you for being kind to our guest teacher; it is not easy to step into a sea of faces you don't know.

Today students wrote opinion responses by exploring bullying statements are writing why/ why not they think the statements are true or false. They then wrote about which truth surprised them they most, and why. This was shared as a class. After that, they had Read Aloud from Don't Feed the Bully.

H/W: Finish your response to the writing you started in class- your response to which bullying truth surprised you the most, and why. Please make sure you are up to date with your writing if you have been absent. Read my previous blogs to see where you stand. As always, talk to me if you need help.

See you tomorrow!

Happy Friday!

Another wonderful week! Today we took another look at the story excerpt "Everything Will be Okay" from yesterday and analyzed the way the author conveys tone. We annotated part of the story as a class, and then divided it up as a jigsaw activity. We may need to revisit this on Tuesday. So many students want to share their writing, and I will get to you. I need 90- minute classes! Don't lose faith..I will try to carve out more time for sharing. As an exit card, students wrote the original sentence from one of their stories and then the revised sentence using a strategy they have learned. I will be displaying these.

H/W: Nothing for the weekend, but use this opportunity to get caught up if you are behind. Remember to READ and notice the author's craft...what can you "borrow" from that author to use in your writing?

See you next week!

Hi there!

I really liked class today...I was able to look through Writer's Notebooks and see what's been brewing as students checked books in and out of the IMC. I checked the three narratives that have been written so far; I graded students on fluency...did they do the assignment and write the story length that was expected? Each was worth 10 points. If you see a grade lower than 30 points it means a story was underdeveloped or not done. I was very happy with all the fluent stories I saw! Keep it going!

Students shared the "author's perspective" revisions they did on a previous story and gave peer feedback. Tomorrow I will be sharing specific examples. We are moving from perspective to "tone" in writing, and today I did a read aloud with a very emotional personal narrative by author James Howe. Tomorrow we will analyze and annotate the story for "tone."

H/W: You have a choice:

• You can start writing a new narrative. Write at least a page, but you don't have to finish it. Just get it started. Remember, a moment....it can be about a place, an event ,an experience or a person.

          OR...

• You can add to one of your previously written narratives.

In either case, you need to use what you have learned about 1) being in the moment 2) using dialogue 3) using author's perspective (not slipping out of perspective - remember the sewing needle and the dog?) Stay in the moment.

Thank you! See you tomorrow!

Happy Wednesday!

Today we focused on "Author's Perspective" and how that affects a narrative piece. Students read and listened to several examples and determined if the author slipped out of their perspective or stayed true to it. Groups looked at a student example and decided where the student could make revisions on their perspective. Some brave souls shared their "life lesson" story they wrote last night; thank you for great listening moments full of details and emotion.

H/W:

• Choose one story (out of your three) in which you have the most interest. Read it, and determine where you lose perspective. Are you writing about what someone else was thinking? Did you really know what they were thinking at the time? Revise this part of your paper by rewriting it on a different piece of paper and taping it above the original writing.
• Bring a colored pen to class tomorrow - any color other than blue or black, please
• IMC is tomorrow - remember to bring your book if you are ready to return it

See you tomorrow!

Welcome back!

I hope everyone had a great long weekend! Our weather could have been more cooperative, but...

Our personal narrative focus today was on a memorable moment with someone who taught you a lesson about life, yourself, or someone else. We made a heart map and a three column chart to help map out ideas. This is probably the most emotional piece of the narrative writing, and I truly, truly appreciate the students who were willing to share difficult topics. It's not easy to put yourself out there. I also appreciate their classmates who listened with respect and sympathy. As we discussed, writers are at their best when they put themselves back in the moment..."No tears for the writer, no tears for the reader" (Robert Frost). If you don't feel it, neither will your reader. The story doesn't have to be sad (think broken cast-iron lawn furniture), but the person did have to teach you something. We're moving beyond, "The day I learned to Ride a Bike" ok?

H/W: Write TWO pages (stronger and longer) about the moment you learned a life lesson, and the person who taught you the lesson. SHOW by referring to that moment in time by describing your 5 senses. Don't TELL "I was overjoyed," really SHOW what "overjoyed" looks and feels like. Remember dialogue makes your writing authentic and puts the reader right there.

** On Thurs. you will be getting your first writing grade. I will be checking for fluency...this means I will be checking for

• three pieces of writing (a moment in time; a memorable place; a person who taught you a life lesson)
• Your writing should be the required lengths ( a full page; one and a half pages; two pages

If you are thinking you might need to get caught up, don't delay! I am always here before and after school if you need a quiet place to work or if you need help.

Thanks! See you tomorrow.